This is a question I wrestled with two days into my sabbatical.
I felt like I had let many people down, most of all God.
Have you ever felt like that as a leader? Carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders? Your small group? Your church? Your business? Your family? Then something happens that you didn’t anticipate, and it all comes crashing down? What do you do? Do you rush around trying to patch things up, or do you run to your Father in all the mess, all your neediness?
I told God two days in, I felt like I disappointed him. Let him down. Didn’t meet his expectations.
Then God immediately whispered into my heart a word that was both encouraging and humbling. He said: “My son, it’s impossible to disappoint me, because I’ve never depended on you for anything.”
What comfort! What joy! What a complete reorientation of my entire person in light of a God who needs me for nothing! God was essentially saying, son- it’s intrinsically impossible to disappoint me. Your nature and my nature are not the same. You look to others to meet your needs, your happiness. I do not. Rest in that.
The very nature of disappointment requires that we depend on that person to perform a certain duty or action for us to be satisfied. Not God, he depends on us for nothing, and so I get to work out of his pleasure for me not work in order to earn his pleasure in me.
Today, let your leadership flow out of this truth. God doesn’t need you, he finds pleasure in using you and allowing you to be a part of his redemptive work.