How to Fight Porn, Pt. 3

This is a continuation of our series on addressing the issue of Porn within Small Groups.  If you missed Part 1 or Part 2, I’d suggest starting there.

Last week we disucssed the crises of porn in our culture and the church, and sat in the reality that not one small groups are exempted from this issue.  As leaders we need to be ready to equip our people in how to think and fight in regards to this pervasive issue.  It’s not just personal holiness that’s at stake, but our communities and the mission of God as well.

4. Device Accountability:

In Romans 13:14, Paul writes: “But put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh, to gratify its desires.” which is a continuation of Christ’s teachings in Mark when he tells us that if our eye causes us to stumble pluck it out!  

Any man or woman who has swam in the waters of internet sex for extended periods of time must be vigilant to make no provision for the flesh.  That means we’re honest about what our sources of temptation are, and if necessary, be willing to cut off any source necessary for the sake of our holiness.  Christ said he came so we would be ‘holy and blameless’ (Eph. 1) and any believer that struggles with porn must be serious about killing this sin before it kills them.

Here are 3 great resources I recommend for device transparency:

In helping someone set up monitoring software, here are a few questions to think through:

  • Does this program work on all of my devices? (some work better on Android than Apple / Some will not work on devices like a Chromebook)
  • Who will be the administrator?  The user shouldn’t be an administrator
  • Who will receive the reports and will pointed conversations be had (if either party is not willing to engage, then the software is essentially useless)

5. Community: 

The best software in the world won’t attack a believer’s awe-problems. This is where accountability is vital in the fight.

John writes: But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin. (I Jn. 1:7)

As you’re helping someone walk away from sin, whether it’s porn or anything else, it must always be done in community.  That community rarely means your entire small group, and as in this instance, it should never mean you are everyone’s go-to accountability partner.  Your job as a leader is to create space for discipleship to happen, so you want to help the person struggling to figure out who are 2-3 people he or she can confide in regularly and comfortably.

Sin thrives in the darkness, and bringing sin to light, helping a person shift from living a life in the dark to living honest and transparent with their struggles sets someone up for pursuing holiness well and will give ample opportunity to combat shame with Gospel truth.

6. Patience: 

Truth is, porn literally changes the brain.  Reserarch has shown the plasticity of the brain makes kicking the habit difficult but possible. Difficult in the sense that your brain needs to be rewired for normal sexual stimulation and activity.  If you’re married that means activity with and only with your spouse. If not, that means learning again to live without sexual activity, and trusting that his grace is sufficient.  The exciting thing about the plasticity of our brains is that change can happen, that our brains have the ability to rewire to learn new behaviors.

Add to this the Gospel trajectory and optimism that Scripture paints, we know that it is literally the will of God (I Thess 4) that we abstain from sexual immorality and that holiness is one of the reasons we were redeemed for (Eph. 1), we see that God is more invested in the battle for our souls than we will ever be.  Our challenege is to get in line with what God has done, is doing and promises to do in our brokenness.

Romans 8 paints a glorious picture for those battling addiction.  We know our bodies groan, along with creation, for the return of Christ and his restoration.  This is our future hope.  While we wait, we are to fight. Fight for holiness, awe in God, identity in Christ, community in the redeemed, and hope. Hope in God doing what only God can do in our lives. 

Pit of destruction

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